Single Dad FILF: Fireman I'd like to.... (HotShots Book 3) Page 11

  “Are you expecting someone? Your ex wife maybe?”

  “Definitely not her.” He snarls. “No, I’m not expecting anyone.”

  “There it goes again. I’ll see who it is before they wake up Jasmine.”

  I’m already down the hallway so there’s not much he can do to stop me, Mr Bossy Pants. This is what it’s like, having to deal with an alpha male. But also having a family to care for and watch out for. It’s a good feeling to have people to do even a small thing for, hot baths, stories at bedtime, cookie baking. I open the door, my cheeks ache from smiling. No one’s on the step. I lift my eyes into the darkness and my heart explodes.

  I slam the door shut and lean my back against it, gasping for air that seems to have sucked from the room. What does he want? How did he find me here? Oh god, what have I done getting Ryder and Jasmine involved in this without their knowledge.

  A swift knocking goes directly through the door into my skull. I’m leaning my head and shoulders into the small glass window embedded in the door.

  “I know you’re in there, you little Bitch?” His voice, the voice that makes chills fly down my arms, goes right to my ear. I don’t dare move. I must be casting a shadow across the glass so he knows I’m standing here. “You think you can hide from me with Ryder Dunlop?” He croaks.

  Still I’m frozen rigid. I’m more afraid for Ryder, trying to relax in the bath and Jasmine, sleeping sweetly, than I am for myself. How does he know Ryder’s name and how did he find me here?

  “Go away.” I hiss. “I don’t have anything you want. You have no business stalking me to my home.”

  “Your home?” He snarls. “I know whose home this is and I guess you aren’t too uppity to blow him while icing me. But that’s gonna change. You don’t belong to him, you belong to me.”

  “I don’t belong to anyone.” I snip, acting cool even though my heart is pounding through my ribcage like I’m being chased by a pack of tigers.

  Where are you Ryder? Get out of the tub. Please. Get out and come tell me what to do about my psycho.

  “You come with me right now Lainie. I’m done waiting for you.”

  “I’m going to call the police in exactly ten seconds.”

  He laughs a cartoon evil laugh.

  “Go right ahead. Didn’t my brother-in-law warn you to keep your mouth shut about me?”

  Brother-in-law? Who’s he talking about? The only person who ever told me to keep my mouth shut was the - cop at the hospital. Shit, that’s his relative? That makes sense. And now there’s no way I’m ever going to beat this arson and drug charge thing if I’m being framed by Thad the psycho and his brother-in-law crooked cop.

  “Have you told Ryder how much you love me yet?” Thad whines. “Does he know you’re only waiting for me to come get you?”

  He rattles the door and I make a dash down the hallway into the bathroom but Ryder’s not in the tub. The water is still there and I rush over despite the fact that the level is too low for him to be submerged. His bulk displaced so much out the drain, there’s very little water left.

  “Ryder?”

  No answer.

  I go to the bedroom and discover him sprawled across the bed, a towel wrapped around his pelvis, out cold. He takes my breath away, the hard flat stomach carved with muscle, the bulges at his shoulders and chest. He looks like a god lying there, impossibly gorgeous. Under any other circumstances I’d shake him awake but not this time. I decide to leave the house, take my problems far away and not dump him and his child right in the middle of my mess.

  The yellow plastic bag containing the few things I own is still by the door. I pull the curtain to one side to peak out and Thad’s gone. His truck is no longer parked across the street, which means nothing. My heart is still thumping painfully because I know he could return any time to make good on his threat. He’s never ever going to leave me be. It’s best that I take this problem away from people who don’t deserve it dumped in their happy lives.

  But I can’t bear to leave. A man I’m besotted with. A little girl who already has my heart. And a chance at Christmas for the first time ever.

  I go back to the bedroom praying that Ryder will be awake but also afraid of that. What can I tell him about those sordid details of my not too distant past? He’s sure to want me out of his house as soon as he finds out and well he should. I’m not the type of girl that deserves this life. Once I thought I might be but time has shown me that it’s not for me.

  Now I’m torn. I should get out of his hair but if Thad were to come back tonight, maybe with some other members of his evil tribe, I’d be leaving two people I care about exposed to danger unwittingly. I’ll stay here until Ryder wakes and then come up with some story that gets me out of here. I’ve done too much running away - I’ll do it right this time, for Ryder. I curl up on the couch to keep watch over the closest thing I have to a family, knowing there’s no way I’ll get one minute of rest.

  I guess I must have fallen asleep, but only with one eye, metaphorically speaking, all the subconscious parts of me back to being on alert. When I jump awake with the hairs on the back of my neck erect, someone is standing beside the couch in the dark. He’s here in the house. He’s come back for me.

  “Are you awake, Lainie?”

  I exhale hard in relief.

  “Yes I am Baby. Why are you awake?”

  “I can’t sleep. Can I get in there with you?”

  “Do you think your Daddy would prefer you to get in with him?”

  “He’s snoring too loudly and I want to stay here with you.”

  I’m torn even harder but I suppose it can’t do any harm. I’ve checked that the door is securely locked a hundred times since Thad went away. I’ve even got a kitchen knife beneath the sofa, close at hand. If he does get in, I’ll defend Jasmine with my life.

  “Come on then.”

  She scooches under the blanket. Fortunately there’s space for both of us plus the three stuffed animals she’s clasping and of course Jersey tagging along. I let Jasmine snuggle herself until she’s comfortable then wrap one arm around her.

  “I had a good time with you today.” She says sleepily.

  “I had a good time too. You’re a lot of fun to hang with.”

  “You too.” I can hear from her steady breathing that she’s dropped off already.

  “Sleep tight little girl.” I whisper.

  Her body is so warm against my stomach and her breathing so calm that I fall asleep again, despite my rigid intention to stand guard over Jasmine through the night. I come to with a start and my heart immediately starts pounding yet again. This time the shadow looming over us is huge and definitely not a child’s.

  “What’s going on?” Ryder hisses.

  The rasp in his throat indicates he somehow inhaled some smoke yesterday but I have to say, it makes him sound even sexier.

  “She wanted a cuddle and you were sprawled out snoring.” I whisper.

  “I’m talking about the bag at the door. Were you planning on doing another runner while I was out cold?”

  I was. Until the priority of making sure my past didn’t catch up to anyone else’s ass became more important.

  I can tell he’s hurt and figure I owe Ryder an explanation after everything he’s done for me. So far I’ve repayed him by bringing my psychotic stalker to his doorstep.

  “Thad was here.” I murmur.

  When Jasmine shifts at the sound of my voice, I carefully extricate myself from her and sit up, placing her legs gently over my lap.

  “Who the fuck is Thad?” He demands. I guess he’s forgotten in all the upheaval.

  “He’s the guy from the bar that’s been stalking me.” I say, my voice quivers at how I’m about to divulge this stuff that will surely turn Ryder off from any desire he may have had for me. But like I said, I owe him this much.

  “An ex-boyfriend?” Ryder’s tone is almost a snarl, as though he’s actually mad that there could be anyone else in my life. He needn’t
worry.

  “Not remotely. Never in the way I’m starting to understand is a boyfriend.”

  He softens visibly then. He squeezes into the space on the end of the sofa beside me and places Jasmine’s dangling feet in his lap. There’s not enough space for his broad chest though so he ends up having to wrap one arm around my shoulders, draping his big bicep so I cocoon in the cave of his torso.

  “What’s going on?” He repeats.

  I take a huge inhalation.

  “When my Mom kicked me out…”

  “Your mother threw you out of your home?” He asks, incredulous.

  “Yes, she said I was flirting with her new man. I didn’t mind leaving because it was him coming to my room in the middle of the night.”

  “You didn’t tell her this?”

  “It was when I started to tell her that she got mad at me for teasing him and told me to get out. If you keep interrupting me I don’t think I’ll be able to get it all out.” I say very softly, breathing through the tears that are pricking at my eyes.

  “Sorry, I won’t say another word. But fuck, I can’t believe a mother would…. Okay, not another word.”

  His arm tightens imperceptibly, just enough to draw my body an inch closer into his pectoral, where I feel his heart beating strong against my arm. I know I’m the cause of a bunch of hassle to him and he’s got his own worries about Jasmine and his ex, but if I could only stay wrapped into his embrace forever, I’d never ask for another thing.

  “I had some money because I was saving up to go to Hollywood some day. But it wasn’t enough. So I took the bus and landed up here. I got a job in the bar and the room and everything was fine until Thad decided we should be fuck buddies. It was like another psycho was waiting for me here, as though he’d been expecting me or as if that’s all I…”

  I stop myself from saying it because I don’t want to piss him off any more than he already is.

  “Fuck.”

  Ryder’s hand grips into a huge fist and I can feel the anger coursing through him through my skin. I’m sorry to be making him this mad when he’s got his own stuff plus a mother of a husk in his throat from yesterday’s blaze. I take his fist in both mine and he relaxes. He threads his fingers into mine and rests our joined hand on his huge thigh beside Jazzy’s little feet.

  “How did I forget you telling me that before?” He says.

  “You don’t have smoke inhalation problems do you?” I’m so scared for him it hurts to breathe.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Isn’t that my line?” I quip but he doesn’t smile.

  “So is this Thad character a dealer? Is it his coke they found in your apartment?”

  I shake my head no. I’m biting my lip so hard it almost breaks the skin but I feel secure with Ryder’s huge bear paw clasping my hand.

  “You’re sure?”

  I don’t know how to tell him about the cop at the hospital. Isn’t it all going to sound so far-fetched he won’t possibly believe me. I couldn’t stand for him to think I was making shit up.

  “Lainie are you certain you’re telling me everything?”

  The tension picks up hard again. I nod but I refuse to cast my eyes down. No more shame. I’m not the person that feels bad about themselves for things that happened that were out of her control. I don’t know whether I should tell Ryder that Thad is working with a crooked cop. And that there’s no way I’m going to avoid jail. Wouldn’t that truly diminish me in his eyes once and for all?

  Chapter 18

  Ryder

  I’m sitting here with my little girl’s feet curled like a pair of shells in my lap and feeling like I could kill something. The fact that Lainie, lovely sweet Lainie, is caught up with assholes like that makes my body burn up in rage. I want to take care of her, keep her here under my wing and promise that I’ll never let anything happen to her. It’s taken a lot out of her to tell her story and I can see how she’s fighting to keep her head up.

  “I’m glad you told me.” I grunt and give her small hand a squeeze. I can see her struggling inside herself and am filled with dread by what else there is to tell. “Go on. What happened last night after I crashed out?”

  She takes another huge breath in to steel herself. This girl has a shitload of courage I’ll give her that.

  “I opened the door - do you remember someone was knocking?”

  I don’t. I must have been in a brain fog from the smoke. I need to get a carboxyhemoglobin test as apparently I inhaled some nasty chemical fumes but I can’t leave my girls right now.

  “It was him - Thad, the psycho from the bar.” Lainie continues. “And he knew your name - your full name. He said he’d come for me, that I belong to him, not you.”

  I nod, gritting down on my bottom lip to contain my fury. How would a bar fly know me or where I live? I’ve been to that dive Lainie used to work at precisely once in my life, with Tom, back when we were buds. I don’t want to doubt Lainie but this story is stretching the limits of my belief. Jasmine’s mother used to come up with these fantabulous tales, as though she thought they would strap me to her. Or maybe the fantasies were all down to the junk that killed her in the end.

  “So how did you get rid of him?” I grunt through pinched lips.

  “He just vanished. One minute he was at the door next he was gone. But I’m afraid, Ryder. I’m afraid he’ll come back and with Jasmine here. That’s why I want to leave. I have to. I feel like I’m bringing nothing but trouble when you’ve been so good to me. You don’t deserve this.”

  I meet her gaze and we smile in unison, breaking the tension over the theme of our partnership.

  “If we’re together what I deserve is the same as what you deserve and vice versa. We aren’t in a bidding war to see who’s good enough to deserve better.”

  I look down at her lips, distracted by how plump and inviting they are. She turns her gaze up at me, her eyes damp and wide. It’s all I can do not to completely crush her into my chest. But I need to hear her out. I need to know she’s not piling on a snow job.

  “Go on.”

  “There isn’t any more to tell.”

  “So this shitbag was at your apartment the night of the fire and he was here last night but you don’t know how he found you.”

  “I know it sounds crazy but please, just believe me. You can throw me out but don’t say you think I’m making up a fairy tale. Please, do that one thing for me.”

  I sit still as a boulder, not releasing her hand one inch. I believe her. Not only because I just had my own memory lapse after inhaling smoke from a fire, which is a reason for her fluctuations of recall. I can’t help but care for this woman. She has good hearted scrawled across her perfect body in tattoo ink.

  “I will end you - that’s what he said?”

  Lainie nods, her eyes are round with fear that she’s trying not to show.

  “You don’t think… he wouldn’t?” She murmurs.

  “I think he already has. If you didn’t set the fire and the Marshall indicates it was arson, I don’t have to be Sherlock to figure it out.”

  “I don’t remember how I passed out or ended up undress…”

  She stops before completing the sentence. Presumably she sees the rage pummeling at my muscles. I want to kill whoever this Thad ass is and I want to do it with my bare hands.

  “I don’t know how but next thing I knew - there you were. Beside my hospital bed. I hope I wasn’t too snarky with you.”

  She smiles slightly and my heart expands at the knowledge that something good came out of that night. For both of us.

  “You rescued me that night and then again from under the bridge but you should let me go. I don’t want this shit to harm Jasmine.” She adds.

  “You think I can’t take care of both of you? If he comes here again looking for you, he’ll be dealing with someone his own size for a change.”

  “Actually he won’t.” Lainie smiles but with a wan upturn of the soft lips I’d like to bite on.
/>   “What do you mean?”

  “Thad is really strong, mean strong, but he’s a wiry tall guy. You’re about three times wider than him.”

  “Well I never underestimate a dude but this one has me so wound up, he doesn’t stand a chance. He comes here, he’s dead.”

  “Please Ryder, don’t hurt him.”

  “You’re sticking up for him after all this?”

  “No, I’m sticking up for you. I don’t want you to get into trouble because of me. I couldn’t bear that.”

  “One rescuer in the family is enough don’t you think?”

  I put it out there. Not in so many words because this thing between us is just beginning and there’s still so much to figure out. But I’ve never been happier than right now with Lainie and my kid in my house. Let’s hope it’s not another side effect of smoke inhalation, the kind of thing that got me roped in with Jasmine’s mother.

  Lainie’s soft gaze looking up at me again, filled with concern for my wellbeing, makes me forget all caution. I tip my head down and our lips crash together as I claim her mouth. She parts, allowing me full access and returns my kiss with the same voracious hunger. Her palm worms out of my hand and comes up to my pectoral muscle. Her fingers dig into my shoulder, clamped on as though she’ll never let me go. In that moment I know for sure I don’t want her to.

  We’ve got stuff to deal with and she’s not the only one carting a truckload of baggage with her, but together I reckon we can do this. As if Lainie isn’t hot enough with her curvy little body and luscious mouth, the way she climbs on top to take me inside her, is the hottest thing ever.

  As a huge bonus, aside from all those attributes, she’s considerate to my kid and Jasmine loves her enough to sleep beside her. It would have been easy enough for Lainie to dump baby girl in front of the television when Shannon dropped her off like a sack of trash. Like she always does whenever a new man appears. Yeah, Jasmine happened to mention that side fact while I was giving her a bath. And yeah, I might have inquired.

  Lainie’s lips open and her tongue reaches for mine, like she can’t get enough of my mouth, needs more. The heat between us flares and our hands are everywhere, our tightly clamped palms not enough to share our need for each other. She grips my shoulder, my jaw, her hand finds its way to the pulsating bulge in my shorts. I hold her chin lightly, while my tongue jabs deeper into her mouth, exploring every corner. My other hand squeezes her breast, then harder, mangling it in my fist and I tug the nipple between thumb and forefinger.