Single Dad FILF: Fireman I'd like to.... (HotShots Book 3) Read online

  “Yeah. I did.”

  “Why?”

  “Is it so hard to believe that I might -“

  Her expression is a mix of curious and, I guess it’s mistrustful. Like she doesn’t get why anyone would care. Or more like she thinks I’m after something from her.

  “Give a fuck?”

  “I was gonna say care, but okay then, yeah - is it that hard to believe that someone might care what happens to you and whether you’re living on the fucking streets?”

  Dammit.

  For an instant there I saw that softening in her features. Then when I mentioned her lack of a real home, she threw the shutters back up. This girl has real pride. Wounded though, so damn wounded.

  “Lainie, it isn’t shameful that you lost your home and had nowhere to live. What’s shameful is that you weren’t properly taken care of after the fire.”

  “Is it also not shameful to be waiting to be incarcerated after losing what little you have in a fire?”

  “Is that why you ran from the hospital?”

  “You think you know me and what’s happened to me just because your job is carrying half naked girls out of burning buildings? I guess you think you know me because of that wanted poster. Just stop here. I can walk the rest of the way.”

  She’s chomping through her chocolate like it’s gonna be snatched away. Her mouth works hard and her lively tongue licks around her lips between each bite.

  “It’s left up here at the light.” She adds. “What are you doing? I said left, not right.”

  She’s mad now but she folds the wrapper into a neat square and pushes it down in her pocket rather than screwing it up and tossing it in my car. I like that consideration.

  “This is totally the wrong direction. Where are you taking me?”

  “I’m taking you home.”

  “You know damn well I don’t have one. That’s just mean.”

  “My home.” I say, knowing I’ve definitely crossed over the line here.

  “You really do have problems with rescuer complex, huh? Don’t your bosses give you therapy for that shit?”

  “Can’t I have a friend over for a hot toddy?” I say, throwing her a grin to lighten the mood.

  “Now we’re friends? Look thanks for the ride - not. But let me out here because there is no way I’m going home with some crazy firefighter with a savior complex. How many other girls have you got tied up in your dungeon?”

  The color is up in her cheeks and she looks alive again. That’s what anger does - gives you life then burns you out. She looks adorable though, like small roses have opened on her face.

  I pull up and she makes for the door handle.

  “Don’t you dare move.” I order her.

  She startles at my tone and her eyes fly up to mine. She looks like a trembling animal in the wild.

  “Stay right there.” I say, slightly softening my voice.

  I walk around the car to the passenger side and she’s sitting rigid with fear. A complete change from the feisty girl that was munching up her sugar rush. She seems defeated, ready to surrender to the worst. When I open the door for her she doesn’t move.

  “You coming?” I ask.

  She sits staring straight ahead, lips clamped inside her mouth.

  “Good god Lainie, relax.”

  I reach in and scoop her up into my arms to haul her out of the truck. She gives a little scream, not to alert anyone or shit, just a shock of surprise. I turn and kick the door shut with the back of my boot and carry her up the walk to my house. To steady herself, or because she has nowhere else to put them other than let them dangle over the sides, she wraps her arms around my neck.

  For the first time I feel her breast press into my chest and a livewire connects straight to my dick which begins to unfurl in my jeans, rendering them uncomfortably tight. I’ve never felt her delectable mound of flesh against my muscle. The other times I’ve carried her she’s been hanging over my back.

  Shit, stop thinking about her breasts. Don’t picture them at all. Cut the fantasy out of your head because if she sees the size of your erection when you set her down she’s going to make a bolt for it.

  She’s looking up at me but I don’t look down to meet her gaze so I don’t know what it reads. I get the flicker of a grin but it could be wishful thinking on my part. Like I said, I don’t dare check. What’s holding me back is how much I realize I want her here with me. How close I came to throwing her across the back seat of my truck and taking her sweet body right there. She’s every secret fantasy made real but I also want to spend a little time with Lainie and find out what the fuck is going on with her and her drug problem. She seems to have it under control but then again maybe that’s an act.

  I take the three steps up to the porch, again shocked at how little she weighs. The curvy girl of my dreams seems to have literally disappeared. She grips me a little tighter around the shoulders as I reach for the keys in my pocket. But no need, I can support her easily in one arm. That said, I do hug her a little closer to me, as a reflex action to keep her safe. I didn’t count on the detonation in my pelvis from having her body molding harder into mine. Her breasts crush into me.

  “Da Da de-darrr.” She sings as I carry her into the house, or over the threshold I guess you’d say.

  Any other woman singing that on entering my home would freak me all the way out again. But with Lainie it doesn’t bother me. Perhaps because of the heavy sarcasm in her tone.

  “You can put me down now.”

  I kick the door shut behind us but still I hold her. If I set her down I can’t keep her in my embrace. She’ll walk away, she won’t be in my arms, her softness pressing against my hard ridges like she’s meant to mold into every one. She drums her fingertips into my pectoral and I look down at her. I can’t help it. I want to remember her lying here in my arms, to hold it it my image bank for future reference. She’s looking up at me shyly, with a small smile that makes her lips fuller somehow. They look so softly delicious. I reach -

  What the fuck am I doing?

  For a crazy second I was tipping forward to bend my head to hers and taste those lips of hers. What the hell was I thinking? She made the tiniest move, pulling back from my barely visible reach toward her, but that was enough. My dick softened like a pricked balloon.

  She was right to reject me. I don’t even know what she was rejecting - I wasn’t aware of the impulse to claim her mouth with mine. It just came up on me without my permission.

  I set her abruptly to the floor, but one arm remains circled around her back. She has to arch to keep her toes on the ground and her tits lift just enough to set my blood rushing toward the boil again. Her eyes turn challenging, as though she might still rush at the door, like she still isn’t convinced I’m not a serial killer. My hand comes up to her face. I move a small strand of hair stuck to her cheek and then lift a morsel of chocolate from the corner of her mouth with the pad of my index finger.

  “You missed some.” I say, grinning as I move my finger to the center of her lip and as she reflexively parts them, I gently swipe the tip of her tongue.

  Her eyes widen, the pupils dilating as she stares at me. She trembles and for the briefest moment, I get an idea she’s changed her mind and that she wants me to claim her mouth in mine. Then the frost returns and she clamps her lips together as she turns her back to me.

  Chapter 9

  Lainie

  Was he going to kiss me?

  Nope. He wouldn’t have done something like that. Quite apart from the fact that I look like shit and probably don’t smell any better. Wouldn’t it cross some code of ethics for him to get cosy with a blaze victim and a girl wanted for arson.

  I walk around the edges of the room in a big circle, hugging the walls while getting ahold of my thoughts swirling. What does this guy want from me? If he was gonna call the cops on my ass surely he didn’t need to bring me to his house to do it. Was he gonna kiss me? Or did I imagine it? Was he really just going in for the
chocolate speck?

  I have to get out of here. This is weird. And it’s weird how he keeps showing up in my life and trying to fix me. Like I’m broken and need mending. I’ll go in a moment, soon as I warm up. It was so nice and warm in his truck. He turned up the heat on my side, not his. I noticed that. And I - oh my god.

  “It’s huge.” I murmur.

  “Oh yeah - I know.” He says and crosses the room to throw a switch.

  A glow like a thousand stars fills the corner where the big tree is standing, reaching to the ceiling.

  “It’s something I’ve done for the last few years - keeping tradition going as my grandmother used to.” He says. “Those are all her baubles, from my childhood. So I carry on the tradition for my -“

  “My grandmother used to wash my mouth out with soap.” I say before I can stop myself. The image of that blew up in my head without warning - kind of like that kiss that never was. “Sorry. You were saying.”

  “Nothing.” Ryder says softly.

  His voice when he’s not ordering me around is so gentle, yet still powerful. I love the smattering of gravel stuck in his throat. Maybe it comes from smoke inhalation. I hope he’s okay, that his job isn’t harming his body.

  “That must have been hard for you - unable to fight back against an adult you trusted.” He says.

  “I should go, before you start with the therapy.” I snip.

  I’ll go in a second. I just want to be here with this tree for a while longer. I haven’t seen a Christmas tree, not in a real home, for the longest time. It’s really stupid but I feel like the glow from it has moved inside me. There’s no reason to be cheerful but I can’t help but feel happy it’s Christmas.

  “When is it Christmas?” I whisper.

  “Tuesday.” Ryder says.

  When’s Tuesday? My god how did my life get this far off track?

  “Lainie you’re shivering.”

  “Am I?”

  I thought I was warm. From the glow and because he’s moved to stand beside me in front of this beautiful Christmas tree and I feel the heat coming off the bulge of his upper arm an inch from my body. Imagine how warm I’d be if I were lying in those strong arms and watching the lights sparkle. Oh, he’s gone again. There’s a strange sound coming from my mouth. I don’t know what it is. And it seems so far away.

  “Here drink this.” Ryder’s back.

  He’s handing me a cup - it looks like warm milk but there’s a strong aroma rising from it too - something alcohol-based - brandy or whiskey I think. I reach for it but my arm won’t lift. The lights glow harder, they seem to grow, then they’re gone.

  “Lainie, Lainie, wake up.”

  Someone is slapping my cheek, but lightly. So lightly I start to laugh. No one ever slaps my cheek unless it’s to knock me halfway into next week. The room comes back to me. Fortunately I’m not standing on those legs that are shivering like jello. I’m on my back. I open my eyes and look up into a huge pair of deep blue ones gazing down at me. Christ, I’m lying across Ryder’s thighs. Two trunks of support under my back. His hand cups the back of my head. What else was he cupping while I was out cold?

  “Drink this.”

  He likes to order me around but I do as he says. He tips the cup enough that the creamy liquid swirls into my mouth, then sets my tastebuds alight with the taste of cinnamon and the heat of the alcohol.

  “Are you trying to get me drunk?” I murmur.

  “Yeah that’s it - with warm milk. And now, I’m going to strip you naked.”

  Jesus for a moment I think he means it. When I realize he’s joking in response to my continued sarcasm with everything he tries to do for me, my heart sinks. Truly I want nothing more than to be lying here naked across Ryder’s lap. He’d be disgusted to see me stripped though, all dirty and bony. I do manage to wash parts of myself in the disgusting river running alongside my current residence, but of course I never get to strip off. Those parts I wash when I manage to gain access to a gas station bathroom and can lock myself inside, safe for a little while.

  Now I’m safe. So safe. Ryder continues to feed me little sips of the comforting milk until it’s gone. I’m hungry for more. I’m hungry for so many things. My lips part when I look at him, my breath coming in spurts. Please undress me.

  “Okay young lady.”

  In one surge, I feel the power of his thighs engage underneath me and he lifts us both to standing. I reach around his neck and press myself into him. Just enough to feel that incredible power rising through his broad torso - not enough to be sleazy though. He wouldn’t want a girl like me and I would never beg. I very sneakily thread my fingers into the ends of his hair at the back of his neck, so taut it feels as solid as a post.

  He looks down at me for a brief moment then refocuses his gaze and turns his body to one side to leverage me through a door - the door to the bathroom. The room is all steamed up, with the sound of water gushing from an antique style brass tap and another gorgeous aroma. Floral this one - a flower whose I can’t recall the name. Jasmine maybe?

  My hand cups the back of his head as I bury the fingers of one hand into his hair, all lush and thick and clean. My heart beats against his body strongly. So powerful it must be his heart beating back into mine. For one incredible moment it seems like they’re beating alongside, with the same rhythm.

  “Lainie, can you get your clothes off?”

  “Looks like you’re managing okay without my help.” I purr.

  Ryder is tugging at my sweater. His jacket is already gone. He must have taken it off when I passed out.

  “Well obviously I’m not going to take all of them off but will you be okay with the, um, underwear?”

  “What’s the big deal? You’ve seen my finer attributes already. Back when they were a little finer than they are now.”

  The sweater comes off over my head and he looks down at the grubby tee shirt I’m wearing underneath. It actually has a hole just below my breast. He pulls that up over my head and I’m standing there in an even grubbier bra. I’m so ashamed but that doesn’t seem to prevent my clit from pulsating with need for him to go further. I lick my lips to moisten the dryness and arch my back a little to plead silently for more. My tits lift up toward his chest which I note is also pulsating, from the powerful pump of his heart.

  I open my mouth to catch more air. My lungs seem tighter and my breath a little harder to tug for. All of a sudden I feel like I might cry. When I bite down on my lip to stop that stupid shit, Ryder’s eyes slide down my face to watch my mouth. Like it’s the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. His hand rests heavy on my hip still, his fingers clasping me. His chest is going up and down so fast. So fast and faster still. My body yearns towards him, an imperceptible movement that does nothing to release the ache inside me. My tits graze his chest and I feel the tips harden so much they’re sticking out through my bra.

  “Lainie.” Ryder husks.

  Beads of sweat line his upper lip, from the steam rising from the tub I guess. He tears his eyes away from my face like the intensity of our bolted on stare, questioning, challenging, is finally too much. His other hand grasps my jeans button and tugs it apart. He pulls down the zipper, like he’s all business, undressing a resistant child. He gets the jeans over my hips, they’re not tight at all these days and lets out a sound. From the back of his throat, something feral.

  My hand lifts, with effort as I guess I’m weaker than I thought, to lay on his arm. So strong, a thick cord of muscle without excess flesh. It flexes in response to his fingers digging into my bared hips. All of a sudden he spins me around. Turning me away from him, he’s pulled back, acting as though my touch was like fire burning his skin. I can’t see him at all now. My jeans are around my thighs and the rage between them is unbearable. I want his hard fingers pushing into me there but all he does is yank my jeans down. He sinks to his knees behind me and I’m breathless. I don’t inhale one stitch as he extracts one foot then the other from the bunched fabric.

/>   My hand comes up to the opposite shoulder, grazing across my aching breast as it travels. I tweak my own nipple on the way and twist it out, needing the pain to stop myself from throwing my body around Ryder still on his knees behind me. I’m breathless, waiting for him to drag the underwear down my thighs. He rises like a phoenix, all power, and unhooks my bra on the way up.

  “You’re trembling Lainie.” He rasps.

  You too I want to say. But before I can speak I’m going up into the air again, into the heated clasp of his powerful embrace. This is it. I reach for him and my tits fall out of their cups. He makes a small sound, like a croak in his throat and I reach out. Before I get a hold on his solid shoulders, he lowers me into the tub. Disappointment swirls around me as I’m submerged and my dripping underwear is soaked by bathwater. The fragrant bubbles encircle me, kissing my skin.

  “Oh god.” I moan.

  Partly in thwarted need for Ryder’s hands mangling my flesh, partly because it feels so good to have soft water touch my skin. My skin is crying out to be touched and not by water. I’m in a heaven of bliss and a torment of need at the same time. My body doesn’t know what it wants. That’s not true - I know exactly what I want and it’s on its knees beside the tub looking down on me with the same hunger that’s raging through me. A reflection of my urgent need.

  My arm is still thrown across my chest, as though in shyness. I tear it away, taking my bra along and tossing it out to the floor in a spume of water. Ryder’s eyes don’t budge from mine as I reach down and hook my underwear. I lift my pelvis and I see a tremor pass through him but still he doesn’t release my gaze. My clit grazes the bubbles as I yank the panties over my pelvis then extract one leg. The other I lift from the water, straight into the air so that bubbles glide down my thigh, the way I need Ryder’s fingers to slide up toward the pointed ache. His gaze rigidly fixes mine, refusing to take in the bubbles pooling on my clit. I ball up the underwear and throw it out of the tub.

  I’m naked under the water and the sensation pummeling at my flesh is like nothing I’ve known before. I’m mostly hidden from his stare by the bubbles but somehow that makes awareness of my bareness all the more heightened. The sensation of being vulnerable and lust-filled wends into my crevasse and I slide my fingers up my thighs to relieve the agony, out of view. My tits bob just beneath the waterline so the bubbles crest my nipples. I can tell Ryder has to force himself to maintain his eyes on mine and not trail down over my body to where I’m relieving some of the agony trapped between my thighs.