Single Dad FILF: Fireman I'd like to.... (HotShots Book 3) Read online

  “I’m in hospital.” I murmur.

  I could slap my forehead for being so dumb when the nurse walks in all brightly breezy. She sets a dish of ice cream on a tray table she rolls over the bed, then tugs and pats the already pristinely folded bedsheets. How did I not realize I’m in a hospital? Probably because my mind is distracted with fear about Thad. Will he find me here?

  “What happened?” I moan.

  “You were in a fire. Do you not remember?”

  “No. Maybe. I don’t know.”

  “There’s someone to see you.” The nurse, whose name tag reads Jackie, says.

  “Someone? Who?” I blurt out, my heart immediately pounding. Who knows I’m here? Could he have found me already?

  “A man and rather a good looking one too.” Jackie says with a grin. She’s bustling around like a manic bee, opening the curtains all the way when I prefer the gloom, straightening the bed covers again.

  “A man?” I squeak, the words barely escaping my lips they’re trembling so much.

  Did Thad put me in the hospital? It can only be him come to finish the job.

  “I can see he sparks some emotion in you.” Jackie says knowingly.

  “I don’t want to see him.” I rasp. The effort making my throat hurt even more. “Tell him I’m not able to see visitors.”

  “Now you don’t expect me to lie to a real rugged man, do you? They’re an endangered species these days what with all these pony tails and braided beards. Anyway it will do you good to see a friend. Cheer you up.”

  “No, I don’t want to. I can’t.” I whimper.

  I can’t be left alone with Thad not even in a public place. He has no problem with doing his evil where anyone might catch him. In fact it seems to turn him on more, getting away with hurting a woman before witnesses.

  “Now don’t be silly.” Jackie scolds. “I know you’ve been through a trauma but you mustn’t hide yourself away now. It will lead to depression.”

  I guess she’s trying to be helpful but she has no idea. Thad is the trauma in my life and the only thing that leads to depression. I moved out of Jersey and came West to the furthest end of the country. To some small town even Google maps struggled to locate so as to escape a bad man and only ended up with a worse one on my tail.

  Panic rises in my chest, pressing against the raw feeling inside so that I have to bite back tears. I want to shout at her, tell her to leave me alone but I can’t. I’m lost. Thad found me again and I have no idea what to expect this time. Thad’s emotional torture is worse than the physical kind and seems more dangerous. But I’m trapped in this hospital bed and I still don’t know why.

  “Ah here he is.” Jackie says with a smile. “Yes, yes you can come in, she’s awake now.”

  My heart nearly bursts out through my chest wall. I’m cowering under the tight sheets and I don’t want to look, don’t want to let him see the terror he invokes in me. But it will only give him confidence, feed him like an emotional vampire. So I force myself to meet his gaze and my poor heart does a totally different backflip.

  I have no clue who the guy standing at the end of the bed is but he’s freaking gorgeous. Not my usual type, he’s even more strapping than Dane, the failed quarterback, my one and only muscle man. After Dane I thought that more slightly built men would be less physically aggressive. Wrong again. If anything the less tough they look, the meaner they can be. This one has a strong face as well as broad shoulders. His chest seems to be rippling all the way down to his navel. But his dark blue eyes are filled with concern, not remotely psycho although I mustn’t let my guard down. The most sociopathic types are always charming and able to put you at your ease, right before they rip out your heart.

  “Hallo.” He says shyly, in a soft voice coming from lips that are made for caressing a girl’s skin.

  I have no clue who he is. Perhaps I lost my memory in that fire.

  “Well, I can see you two have some catching up to do.” Jackie smirks.

  I shake my head at her, trying to let her know I have no clue who this guy is and not to leave me alone with him. Then I stop before it’s so obvious that the stranger notices.

  “Don’t tire her out.” She tells him. “Our patient is a little tongue tied by your arrival and the smoke will have damaged her bronchial passages. Oh, what am I saying? You’ll know that of course.”

  Jackie’s looking at him like he’s three scoops on a summer day. She’s completely smitten but the dude doesn’t even know she’s there. His eyes are fixed on me.

  “You don’t have to talk.” He says to me. “I just came to see how you are.”

  Who the hell are you?

  My heart won’t slow down its galloping. My skin is tingling all over which must be some after-effects from the fire although I didn’t notice it before.

  “Well mostly I came to tell you not to worry about your dog.”

  What dog?

  I stare at the guy in a state of bewilderment made worse by the ripples running down my skin making my core burn. Must be sense memories from the fire.

  “What’s his name?” The guy asks. “I can’t keep calling him Fido. Unless that’s his name of course. Mine’s Ryder by the way.”

  His voice is like woodsmoke and honeycomb, and he’s nervous too. Which is unusual as guys that look like him are generally arrogant d-bags.

  He looks at me, lifting his eyes from my lips to gaze full into mine for the first time. My stomach rolls over in a triple twizzle. I’m sure I’d remember a guy like this, so handsome, so concerned. Can you fake that kind of caring? Yes of course you can. It was what drew me to Thad, that pretense at concern for my wellbeing. How he swore to protect me from any more guys like Dane who liked to slap me around.

  “You deserve so much more.” Thad told me. I didn’t know he meant it literally. That ‘more’ I deserved meant more of the same.

  “Trust me to take care of any man that thinks he can hurt my girl.” He said the same as the guy I briefly dated after Dane. Much as I hated Dane for beating me up, I didn’t want to see him with all his fingernails ripped out and both ankles bent in half.

  Now this hot guy is staring at me even more intensely than Thad. At least his eyes aren’t all crazy glazed.

  “Well, you don’t have to talk.” He says. “I’m sure it’s painful and you’re right to rest your voice. Drink lots of fluids.”

  “Thanks Doc.” I croak but he ignores my sarcastic tone.

  “And don’t worry about Fido. I can take care of him until you get out of here.”

  I’m about to tell him that I have no clue what he’s talking about. Fido is a dog’s name. I don’t have a dog. I’ve never had a dog. I don’t think I even like dogs, all that neediness.

  “Thank you.” I say although I don’t know why. I’m on autopilot. The good girl, polite and demure. At least I’m not cowering in my skin, expecting a blow.

  “No need to thank me. It was the mutt that saved your life not me. Although it’s me that’ll get the commendation.”

  “You saved my life?” I husk.

  “You don’t remember the fire?” He asks, his face contorting into a mask of concern.

  But those lips are what hold my attention. They look firm, soft, strong. I can almost feel them gliding up the side of my neck like a whisper.

  “You were there?” I stutter.

  “Yeah, I was.” Is he blushing beneath that scruff of stubble? The light flush of color makes him even more gorgeous. “Sorry, let’s start this over. I’m Ryder Dunlop, firefighter.”

  He reaches out a palm and there’s no ignoring the size or power in that hand. I put my fingers in his and am totally dwarfed but he restrains his grip so they aren’t crushed in our, kind of awkward, shake. He holds me in his grasp longer than is usual, I think. Not that any man has ever made such a polite introduction before. Then he seems to remember and lets go as though I suddenly caught fire.

  “We heard the mutt barking.” He starts talking, too fast and looking
away from me. It’s hard to say which of us is more embarrassed right now. “So I came into the building to rescue him and his yelping alerted me to you passed out on the floor.”

  “So brave.” I tell him, a little more smug than is called for if I’m honest but it’s only because he makes me feel so flustered. “I should probably tell you I don’t have a dog though.”

  “Really? Well perhaps that slipped your memory as well. Fido was pretty adamant about letting us know you were trapped in the house. You must have been trying to dress to leave the building and been overcome by smoke inhalation.”

  “Trying to dress?”

  “Um, yes.”

  “You mean you found me naked?”

  Now it’s my turn to blush, except my cheeks burn vivid scarlet.

  “Not quite.” Ryder Dunlop says, his gaze shifting briefly to the floor before returning to look right into my eyes with a gaze that strips me bare. “But your panties were in a twist, from pulling them on too fast I guess. Those skinny thongs will do that.”

  “You’re an expert on women’s underwear as well?” I snarl, again purely out of total discombobulation. “I’ll be sure to wear granny pants next time I find myself burning to death.”

  “No need to get gnarly, lady,” He barks. Suddenly the moment has deteriorated into full scale head-butting. “I wasn’t copping an eyeful if that’s what’s getting your panties in a twist this time. There was way too much smoke and the imminent probability of all of us dying to waste time admiring your attributes.”

  “Really? And yet you still managed to ascertain that my thong was in a twist through all that smoke?”

  “Okay look I didn’t come here for a grilling.”

  “And you think I need one?”

  “Whether you do or not, you know you’re going to be questioned about how the fire started.” I’m aware that my features collapse from their stubborn set into a sort of confusion, tinged with fear. Ryder’s face contorts in turn and I can tell he’s wondering why I’d have to worry about an inquiry. “And they’ll have tested you to determine why you were passed out in that room.”

  “Why would they do that?” I ask, my throat rasping dry as a bone. “They can tell I inhaled a lot of smoke.”

  “Procedure. To make sure everything is legal and above board.”

  The word caves my cheeks in further and a lance of suspicion goes through Ryder that makes the tension in the room unbearable.

  “Look I just wanted to let you know that Fido - the mutt - is safe.” He continues, filling the space with anything to dispel the taut atmosphere but it seems he can’t resist being a jerk. “Not that you seem too worried about him.”

  “Like I said I don’t have a dog to worry about. I only moved here a couple of months ago so I can’t be worried about a dog I don’t have.”

  I don’t know why I’m being such a bitch with this guy when he’s only trying to be nice, saving my life then coming here to check up on me. Could I have some aversion to nice guys? Maybe I only know how to make myself agreeable to men that will never love me for it. Something in the challenge of winning impossible love turns on my unconscious enough that I keep going back for more.

  There’s a long awkward silence where I can tell Ryder wants to leave and is also biting his lip. Probably trying to hold back from telling me where to get off, indulging my rudeness seeing as I’m sick in bed. We’re glaring silently at each other when Jackie comes in. She’s actually fluttering her lashes at the big guy.

  Chapter 3

  Ryder

  The nurse’s arrival gives me the perfect cue to get out of there. I regret coming and it’s way out of line professionally but I had to let the girl know about her little dog. I never dreamed she’d claim the thing isn’t hers. Why else would it have been locked into the same room with her? I guess she wants to absolve responsibility for it, like those people that dump unwanted pets in the forest. Or she’s worried about paying for boarding, not that I’d charge her anything. It’s always the sweet looking ones that turn out to be nutjobs.

  “Are you friend or family?” The nurse asks as I turn to leave.

  “Me?” I say, dumbly, like there’s anyone else in the room.

  “I didn’t ask before, it’s just that Lainie’s home is burned out and she’s going to need someone to keep an eye on her.”

  Smoke Inhalation, she mouths silently at me, her back to Lainie in the bed.

  Lainie. Pretty name.

  Of course I know how dangerous smoke inhalation can be. One moment a fire victim is on the mend, next one they’re dead from the unseen damage to their lungs and the poisonous gases they’ve inhaled. But Lainie’s not showing any signs aside from the hoarse voice, which I have to admit is kind of sexy although that’s a crass thought. Her skin isn’t discolored at all, in fact it’s a beautiful rosy shade that gives her a healthy glow as though she’s lived a simple farm life. Yeah, she’s almost like one of those milkmaids we read about in elementary school, those old English novels everyone hated.

  “So friend or family?” The nurse prompts. “Apparently she doesn’t have any next of kin listed.”

  “No, not family. Or friend.” I mumble. Definitely not. “I’m a firefighter. The one that pulled her out actually.”

  “Oh, I thought I knew all the firefighters in town.” She flutters.

  I can tell she’s interested. And she’s pretty in a homey way. A woman you could be comfortable with. Not that I’m looking, not at all, but a man can’t help admiring. At least the nurse isn’t a little pitbull like the one scowling at me from the bed for no reason. That one though, well, she’s beyond pretty. There’s something glittery about her, without being flashy. Incandescent - yeah, that’s the word. One of those women you can’t help but be pulled towards. Not with that scowl on her face though.

  “I just transferred here a while back to be closer to my… crew.” Man that sounds lame. Why can’t I just say I’ve got a kid? It’s not like I’m looking to lure either of these women.

  “I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself.” Lainie snaps from the bed.

  I guess she’s not thrilled that her business is being discussed in front of a stranger. One she’s apparently taken an instant dislike to.

  “Take it easy and don’t worry about your dog. He’s safe with me.” I repeat, awkward and desperate to get out of there for some reason.

  “I’ve already told you, I don’t have a dog.” She snarls then gasps on a choke sound.

  She heaves for air, clutching at her chest like she’s in pain. I take a leap forward but the nurse moves in front of me, cutting me off, whether intentionally or dutifully I can’t be sure. Of course it’s the right thing to do. She’s the professional and as we just ascertained, I’m neither friend nor family. Just some asshole who doesn’t know when to leave well alone. The situation gives me my chance to get out of there, feeling like a douche for going but also like a mug for coming in the first place.

  I’ve got the mutt in the truck as he’s not terribly well house trained and has run around ripping up any loose objects in my house since I brought him home with me from the blaze. Chief told me I should drop him at the shelter but somehow I felt as though he was a buddy, since it was the two of us working together that got the girl, Lainie, out of the inferno. And he’s the only one I can trust since Tom went rogue. You could say I’m still smarting from the loss of my bud and the shock that he could be so callous as to put a life at risk. Two lives.

  Lainie. For some reason, as I walk down the fire-stairs, too impatient to wait for the crowded elevator, her name keeps floating into my head like a tune you can’t stop replaying.

  I should never have come. I could easily have called and left a message that her dog was with me. I had zero reason to drop by in person, wasting my one day off. Except somehow I felt compelled to see her again. It’s not like I was expecting a ton of gratitude, just for doing my job, but nor did I expect to basically be accused to my face of being a perv either.
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  Maybe having saved her, I felt some kind of attachment. It hasn’t happened before but my mother always told me I was too much of a rescuer. That it would get me into trouble with women if I wasn’t careful and I’d only ever attract the broken ones. She called that right. Speaking of broken women I should go over and see my daughter. Unlike her mother, at least that’s a girl with a temperament as sweet as her face.

  Fido (looks like that’s his name now) goes berserk with glee at my return. Soon as I climb into the truck he settles into my lap for the duration of the drive over to Shannon’s place to see my kid. My little girl is going to be delighted with a dog to play with although I can’t let her get attached seeing as he’s got to go back to his owner soon as she’s mended.

  While we sit at a long light, I get a strange feeling of calm come over me. I’m imagining Lainie’s plump mouth and it’s like all is suddenly right in my world for no reason. It’s so unusual for me to relax the tension, as soon as the light turns I jam my foot on the gas so the truck shoots off. Fido lifts his head to gaze at me with those big ol’ puppy eyes as though asking what’s up?

  “Yeah, I know. I’m brooding.” I tell him. “Comes with the territory.”

  I arrive at the house and Shannon isn’t that thrilled to see me. She does a crappy job of trying not to show it.

  “Jasmine isn’t here.” She says, moving side to side to block me from peering around her blocking the door.

  I just look over top of her as I’m a good head taller than her even though she’s standing a step higher. It occurs to me she’s lying, but why would she? I guess I’ve just got a bad attitude to women from her family. Could that be the reason I’ve been questioning Lainie’s innocence in the fire outbreak the entire ride over here?

  “I didn’t know you got a dog.” Shannon says.

  “So where’s my daughter?” I shoot back, ignoring the jab.

  “Birthday party. You should call first.”

  “Yeah sorry about that. I’m on a rehab day.”

  “Ooh was there a big one yesterday?” She perks up with the prospect of tragic gossip.