Single Dad FILF: Fireman I'd like to.... (HotShots Book 3) Read online

  Christ, what makes some people have an itch to get all the juicy inside info on the fires I fight? The kind of people who rubberneck at highway accidents. Other people’s misfortune is fascinating I guess.

  “I just got an overwhelming need to see my baby’s sweet face.”

  “Well call next time and save yourself a wasted journey. And I hope that dog isn’t a Christmas gift for Jazzy because I don’t need any more mouths to feed around here.”

  Another jab. Like I don’t give her enough money to take care of my kid.

  “I need to see her on Christmas.”

  “I don’t know if she’ll be able to spend much time with you.” Shannon informs me.

  “I’ll be back on the weekend to see her.” I insist. “Even if I have to squeeze in a visit between shifts.”

  I start walking away, eager to get away from Shannon who sucks the air out of the room even when standing outside. I can’t breathe whenever I’m around her.

  “Just remember to call first.” She shouts after me.

  When I drive away from Shannon’s place I’m jangled and uptight. I’m assuming it’s because I didn’t get to see Jasmine and had to put up with Shannon giving me her lip but in fact it’s that tune meandering through my skull again. Lainie.

  All I can think about as Mutt jumps all over me trying to lick my chin, is the girl and the way her body felt up close to mine. Unprofessional I know and I’m not some douche that takes advantage of any of the many women I’ve lifted to safety. I can’t even recall ever noticing a female body in that way when in the line of duty before. My problem is I wasn’t a hundred per cent honest with her when I said I didn’t notice her body.

  If I had been truthful, I’d have had to admit I’d woken up last night, with thoughts of her curves filling my head. Her soft skin, even though I couldn’t feel it through the Kevlar gloves, is all I dream of. The urge to touch it in the flesh is some unconscious drive that’s sending me deranged. It makes no sense. Why her?

  For that reason I’m not keen to go back to my house and sit on the couch alone with my head full of some naked girl who hasn’t got even a friendly smile for me. So I stop by the fire house, curious about whether there’s been any input on the investigation into the fire at Lainie’s and any more on Tom’s suspension.

  “Crack ho.” Glenn says when I ask the guys on duty, lounging around watching a rerun of Desperate Housewives and lifting weight for a few arm curls. It can get pretty boring waiting for an alarm. We can’t drink obviously, so it’s tempting to snack mindlessly while bingeing junk TV.

  “Excuse me?” I can’t have heard him right or he’s messing with me.

  “The girl’s a Crack ho. Fire Marshall called a couple of minutes ago. He found a pipe and a ton of product, all burned up of course.”

  “Don’t say Ho, Glenn, you sound ridiculous.”

  “Just sayin’”

  If it’s true that would explain why Lainie was cranky with me at the hospital. She must have been craving a fix big time. Strange though because even with the grazes on her face from lying face down on the floor, she looked a picture of health. There were none of those blisters around her mouth that usually out a crack user. Her fresh, innocent look is one of the things that makes Lainie so attractive. If I was looking at her that way, I mean. Crack users have ratty hair, bad skin, bad teeth, bad everything. And their eyes are dead glazed, not fiery with pride and irritation.

  “Glenn that doesn’t make any sense.” I say.

  I really don’t want to believe Lainie is an addict.

  “Maybe not but you can’t mistake the evidence.”

  When I don’t answer right away, Glenn looks over at me, catching me in deep thought.

  “You haven’t gotten yourself a crush on your naked victim have you?” he smirks. “I wouldn’t blame you, that was one hot little piece of ass.”

  “Watch your fucking mouth.” I bark, making him startle. I never lose my cool. “She’s an innocent victim.”

  “Just sayin’”

  “Well don’t.”

  Glenn shrugs and goes back to his Housewives. The captain is out, else I’d go tell him my deductions about the investigation report. I’m no fucking Sherlock Holmes but crack users don’t generally face plant after a fix. If Lainie had been passed out from smoking crack wouldn’t she have been on the couch instead of pulling her clothes on and trying to make it out the window to the fire escape? It occurs to me the hospital will have run blood tests on her as soon as she was admitted. That would provide definitive proof.

  Fido is as thrilled as ever to see me when I get back to the truck. I can’t help but laugh as he covers my chin with his salty rough tongue.

  “Whaddaya say we go see your mistress?” I ask, nuzzling his beard.

  He makes a whimpering sound as though eager to comply. Twice in one day is verging on obsessive I know but I have to figure this out or else I’ll be up all night noodling my head with it. I may be up anyways thinking about Lainie’s sweet curves but I manage to convince myself I’m not looking for another excuse to see her. You could say this is all in the line of duty. Anyways I’m pretty sure I can expect an even more icy response when I tell her she could be looking at prison time if she was the cause of the blaze due to drug use.

  I can’t take a dog into a hospital but Fido seems to know where I’m going and gives me those hound eyes. I tuck him down inside my jacket.

  “Don’t start with any of your yelping or you’ll get us both kicked out.” I tell him and receive a mewl in response.

  We make it past the nurse’s station with ease. I give them all my biggest grin and they all smile right back at me and their fingers fly up in unison, like a line of chorus girls, to stroke their hair. I think of Lainie’s long hair, the color of hazelnuts but all soot blackened and stuck to her face that night. When I visited earlier it was all fluffed from washing and draping around her face as she fired off speech darts at me from her pillow.

  “Am I nuts?” I hiss down at the fur-ball squirming against my bicep. “What are we doing here?”

  “Everything Okay? You need anything?” A nurse asks and I realize I’ve stopped in the middle of the hallway and am talking to my own chest.

  “I just forgot the way to Lainie’s room.”

  “Back down the hall on the left.” She says.

  “Yes. Smoke inhalation. Brain freeze. I remember now.”

  When I get to room 429, two men are coming out. They’ve got cop written all over them. I step back to let them pass and when I push open the door and see Lainie sobbing, my heart drops direct into my gut. Is it possible for a woman to be even prettier when she’s been crying? She’s lost that hard edge in her features. Her eyes are all dewy wet and her lips are swollen pink from biting I assume.

  I hate to see her upset and wish I could do something to ease her mounting troubles. That’s what I tell myself as I fight down the energy unfurling in my jeans and making the blood rush in my veins as I imagine her wet eyes and swollen mouth underneath me in very different circumstances.

  Chapter 4

  Ryder

  “What are you doing here again?” She snuffles, swiping tears from her pink cheeks before I notice. Like she doesn’t want to give me the satisfaction of seeing her upset.

  It breaks me up to see her like this and I wish I could have knocked those two cops to the ground for hurting her feelings. I have to try to remember she’s a possible drug addict and likely to try all kinds of manipulative tricks to elicit sympathy.

  “Nice to see you too.” I say without aggression.

  My eyes are twinkling but she’s not dropping her guard at all. She even looks as though she thinks I could be enjoying seeing her upset when the opposite is true. The guard walls have risen around each of us so I guess neither of us is likely to observe what the other is feeling. Why are humans like this? You don’t see animals holding out emotion after one betrayal. They get over shit like that fast and approach each relationship as brand
new. Even an animal that gets kicked repeatedly will accept its master.

  “Look I don’t know what your story is.” She snaps, “But I’m really not in the mood for socializing, okay?”

  “Oh-kay. I actually brought a friend to see you.” I won’t rise to the hostility, either she’s hurting or she’s itching for a fix. Either way there’s no point escalating a fight. “I thought seeing him might jog your memory.”

  When I pull open my leather jacket enough that Fido’s head pops out, wet nose first followed by those big brown eyes, I don’t get the reaction I was expecting. Rather than a squeal of pleasure and outstretched little arms, Lainie’s face crinkles into the hint of a frown. As though a memory appeared and was lost. Or pushed back. I have some training in victim response but not enough to decipher this girl’s emotions. She remains a mystery.

  “I thought I told you I don’t have a dog.” She snaps. “Do you have some hearing problem?”

  What is it with this girl and her temper. I wonder whether the smoke inhalation has caused this aberration in her moods.

  “Was that the cops that just left?” I ask, ignoring her snark.

  This one needs to be broken in but not in the wrong way as I’m getting the impression has been done in the past. Has someone hurt her? I can’t stand the thought. Still we’ve all got history. Trick is not to let it define you. Easier said than done.

  “How is that any of your business?” She says, not letting go one inch. Man this girl is a tough nut. “But if you must know, yes. I’m pretty sure I’m likely going to be arrested soon as I’m well enough. For some drug charges and maybe arson. Satisfied?”

  “I’m not your enemy, Lainie? In fact I thought I might be able to help.”

  “How? And how do you know my name?”

  “I didn’t know we needed a formal introduction.”

  “Or you think you have rights because you’ve seen me naked?”

  “Maybe I’m interested in your life since I saved it.” I can’t help rubbing that in even though I feel like a jerk for doing so. “Anyway, not naked, just topless.”

  “Ni-ice.”

  “Well you will keep harping on about the naked thing. It wasn’t me that tore off your clothes.”

  I throw her another grin she’s definitely not buying. Her face contorts in more confusion then a shard of pain flies across her lips before being repressed. She glares back at me and her expression says she thinks I’m full of myself. One of those okay looking guys with a hot body, that knows women are about to fall over themselves and melt for him. Well not this one, she’s boring her distaste for my type straight into my heart. Then her nose crinkles up and she gives another cute frown, not the usual hostility, this one reminds me of her dog when he gets curious.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  “Hang on.” She crinkles away like she’s looking for something she lost but ought to remember where she set it down. “Nope it’s gone.”

  “What was it? Talking about it might help it come back.”

  “You said ‘tore off my clothes’.”

  “Sorry if that triggered something.”

  “My mind wants to pull up a thought around that but it’s just out of reach. It’s so frustrating. Did I lose my memory in the fire.”

  “You really don’t remember what happened?” I’m starting to believe she did based on her facial reactions.

  “I don’t remember the fire starting and I certainly don’t think it was me that did that. Or that I was taking drugs because I’ve always hated that stuff. But the police say the evidence is definitive and…” She drifts off.

  “Like I said, I’d like to help. I’ve heard about the fire Marshall’s report and remember I was in your apartment. I don’t believe you were passed out from smoking crack.”

  “You don’t? Really?” Her eyes get a little wider and I notice how my pants start to strain. I have to not picture her eyes widening like that as I push into her.

  “Is that what the police were here about?”

  “Yes. And they didn’t seem convinced when I said I’ve never done any drugs.”

  “Well that’s easy enough to prove from the blood tests the hospital will have taken when you were admitted.”

  “They say the tests weren’t definitive. The drug can go out of the bloodstream in two hours.”

  The question remains what the stuff was doing in her apartment. I look down at the squirming ball of fluff in my jacket.

  “Shush.” I say.

  “Who are you talking to in that broad chest of yours?”

  How does she not remember from just a few minutes ago? She’s as disoriented as an addict. Fido’s wriggling to get out, presumably from the sound of Lainie’s voice. She may not know him but I’m certain the mutt knows her. He pops his little nose out of my coat and Lainie immediately breaks into a smile. The first I’ve seen.

  “Jersey.” She squeals and reaches for him.

  “So you do have a dog after all?”

  What the…? What’s with the complete turnaround? This girl is acting nutty. I wonder what else she’s been lying about.

  “When you said it wasn’t you that tore off my clothes I had a vision of… this guy doing exactly that before the fire started.”

  “Guy? What guy?”

  Christ, my blood surges in my veins fit to boil eggs. I cannot be all alpha man jealous over Lainie with some other dude. She’s not mine. I barely know her. This is everything we’re trained not to do, no getting attached to the rescue victim.

  “Really?” I say, more calmly, trying to act casual, forcing myself to remember I’m here to help her out and that is all.

  She’s nuzzling Fido, Jersey, who is giving her more kisses than he gives me and I get a sudden image of me nuzzling both of them. That in some other world I have the right to do that and get their affection in return. I must be losing it. Now the hostile stare is back on Lainie’s lovely features. Like she’s upset with me. Or that I’m skeptical of her story like the cops no doubt were. I need to get this back on track. Let her know I’m a friend and want to help her.

  “Seems like you’re getting your memory back.” I suggest.

  Her big eyes glass over and fill with tears. Shit, what did I say?

  “What is it, Lainie?”

  Fido, Jersey, is licking her cheek as though trying to comfort her. Despite her claim not to have a dog, it’s clear these two have a special bond.

  “He really loves you.” I say. “I hope you do remember him. You must have been together ages.”

  “I only got him yesterday.” She says.

  I find that hard to believe judging from how bonded they are. But then the mutt was pretty affectionate with me too after only a day. Dumb animal, some might say.

  “I didn’t really get him. I was out for a walk and started petting him in the park and he followed me home. I couldn’t bear to put him back out on the street. Look how cute he is.”

  “Yeah I noticed that puppy dog face.” I say.

  I’m looking at Lainie’s face which has the exact same quality of a stray you want to take care of.

  “Oh my god.” her hand slams up over her rosy lips and tears push out of her eyes to flow freely.

  “What is it, Lainie.”

  She looks like she remembered something and it wasn’t a happy memory.

  “Nothing.” she moans.

  “You can tell me.”

  I’m getting a serious vibe something deeper is going on here.

  “It was Thad.”

  “Thad, what’s a Thad?”

  “Not what, who,” she whimpers. “Look I don’t know you and I don’t want to bore you with my sordid story of running away across the country to hide from a psycho ex and landing right in the clutches of another one. Out of the frying pan into the fire you could say.”

  “Just tell me. You look like you could use a friend with human ears right now.”

  I’m just glad to see she’s softening up to me. Because it takes all my
strength not to stride across to the bed and take her in my arms until she stops crying. And if this asshat Thad has hurt her he’s going to have to deal with me next time.

  “I was trying to put Jersey, this is Jersey by the way, that’s what I’ve been calling him.”

  “It’s a better name than Fido.”

  “I’m from Jersey City, you see.”

  There goes my milkmaid fantasy.

  “You’re a long way from home. You wanted to see the mountains?”

  “No I meant it when I said I came here to hide from my ex. He’s no ordinary ex. He’s the kind you know could kill you but then there’s this other guy.”

  “Another guy, I’m confused. You were trying to put Fido, I mean Jersey out, and….

  “I opened the door and Thad was standing there. I freaked right out. He was standing up too close to the door, like he’d been there for ages. Just waiting for me to open it and find him there, a sentry blocking my escape. He pushed in and told me he’d come to claim me once and for all. That I shouldn’t think of running away from him like I did from my ex because there’s nowhere on earth I can go that he won’t find me. That we’re made for each other…”

  “That true?” I snap, feeling my blood surge up again even though from what she’s said I know it isn’t. “The made for each other part?”

  “No of course not. I only met him a few times. Not even met, he hung out in the bar where I work.”

  “Sorry. It just pisses me off to hear about guys mistreating women.”

  And a woman with two crazed lovers is one with trouble written all over her.

  “He pushed into my apartment and started, you know.”

  She looks down and a delicious blush rises to her cheeks that I wish was caused by other, more pleasurable circumstances that I was in control of.

  “Tearing off your clothes?”

  She bites her bottom lip and I’m mesmerized imagining that my mouth is on that lip. That it’s me doing the biting and lightly sucking it between mine. I can’t focus when I’m around this girl. She nods her head yes, still unable to meet my gaze.